Alright, fam, let’s dive into a convo that’s about as complex as trying to explain TikTok to a boomer. We’re talking about the not-so-casual relationship between weed and breastfeeding. So, if you’re a new parent or soon-to-be mom looking to puff without the parental guilt, keep it locked; we’re spilling the tea, and it’s not all herbal. Spoiler alert: it’s complicated, and your baby might judge you.

Weed and Breast Milk: The Not-So-Sweet Exchange

Here’s the lowdown: when you dabble in the green stuff, the THC (that’s the psychoactive magic that gives you the munchies) waltzes straight into your bloodstream. And guess what? Whatever is in your blood is also going to crash the breastfeeding party. That means if you’re vibing hard, your baby is likely catching a whiff of those same chill vibes through the milk. Yep, that’s right—your little angel could be experiencing a mini high. Talk about a parenting plot twist!

But hang on, it gets juicier. THC gets cuddled up in your fat cells and decides to stick around for a while, sometimes for a week or longer. Sorry to break it to you, but pumping and dumping isn’t gonna cut it if you’re hoping to get rid of the THC like last week’s leftovers. And if you think you can estimate how much THC sneaks into that precious breast milk, good luck! Everyone’s body is a bit of a mystery—some people might process it faster than others, like how some of us finish series in a binge-watch while others are still on episode one.

Medical Marijuana: A Double-Edged Sword

Now, before we throw the weed out with the bathwater, let’s chat about this whole medical marijuana scene. Some studies, bless their hearts, have tried to sound a little less doomsday about it all. One study that popped up at the American Academy of Pediatrics’ conference hinted that cannabis might not be a total disaster for breastfeeding moms. But hold your horses—this study looked at a mere 763 preterm infants. Like, that’s a drop in the ocean regarding making blanket statements about breastfeeding with a side of ganja. So before you light up, hit pause and chat with your doc, okay?

The Risks: A Long List of “Uh-Oh” Moments

If you’re still tempted to hit that bong and keep it moving, let’s hit you with the risks. Think of it as the “Please Don’t Do This” list. Seriously, this isn’t just about keeping your goodie bag intact; it’s your baby’s future we’re talking about.

• Cognitive Delays: Using marijuana during pregnancy and while breastfeeding could lead to some serious brain fumbles for your baby. Research has found that infants can experience attention deficits and short-term memory issues, which is not what you want for your future overachiever.
• Physical Growth Delays: There are whispers that cannabis could stunt growth, leaving your little one shorter than the rest of their playgroup. Yikes!
• Mental Functioning: Your cutie pie could face trouble in verbal and quantitative reasoning starting as early as three. Just when you think they’ve mastered basic math, they might be all like, “Math? No thanks!”
• Emotional Rollercoaster: Kids whose moms used weed while pregnant are like, “Why so serious?”—often displaying more aggressive behaviors and symptoms of depression. No one wants to parent a mini Hulk!
• Secondhand Smoke: You thought secondhand smoke from tobacco was bad? Well, guess what? Pot smoke can also sneak into kids’ lungs. Studies have shown that several kiddos have wound up in the hospital after being exposed to cannabis smoke. It’s a hard pass from the doctors, fam.

CBD: The Wild Card of Breastfeeding

So you’re thinking about using CBD while you’re on the mom train? Well, let’s just say it’s like playing Russian roulette. It may or may not be safe, but honestly, better safe than sorry. Many CBD products are unregulated, and some may contain trace amounts of THC, which is like inviting the bad influence to your kid’s birthday party. Even if you’re going for some fancy organic stuff, poor-quality CBD could sneak in some pesticides or heavy metals. Not great for those little lungs!

When Can You Light Up Again? The Waiting Game

Alright, let’s tackle the elephant in the room. When can you safely enjoy some cannabis again? While THC is out of your system usually within 24 hours, it can stick around and be detectable for a hot minute—up to a month in urine tests and even longer in hair samples (90 days, yikes!). So, holding off until the baby is fully weaned is your best bet if you want to dive back into the herb game without drowning in mommy guilt.

Final Thoughts: Know Your Vibes

Bottom line? There’s a lot at stake when it comes to the relationship between weed and breastfeeding. While some studies hint it might not be a total deal-breaker, the potential risks for your baby are substantial. As tempting as it is to chase that green dragon, being a mom means putting your little one’s needs first. So maybe save the chill sessions for when you can toast with other grown-ups (who aren’t drooling in their playpen) and stick to the snuggles and storytime for now. At the end of the day, thriving as a parent is the ultimate high.